The responsibility of being a grown up…

As you get older, responsibilities become larger and usually tougher, and they come in the form of decisions.  My problem, however, is that I’m always worried I’ll make the wrong decisions.  But all that is changing now.

I’m engaged and have been since February, and now things don’t seem so scary, because I have someone to share in the decision with me.  It’s not me on my own anymore.  Instead, it’s about how *we* are going to get by or what *we* want our future to look like.  (That’s such an awesome feeling by the way.)  :) 

Currently, we are in the process of planning our wedding.  Being that we are getting married next November, we have quite a while to sort through the details.  I was hoping to get a head start and have certain aspects taken care of…like the venue.  The only problem with that is now we can’t know if we have the venue for sure until later this year (or possibly early next year).  So, now I’m stuck.  I’m putting off the wedding planning until we can start moving on some things, and now the idea of purchasing a home has crept into my mind.  It would be nice.  I’d love to have a place to call my own.  To paint the walls whatever color I want.  To have a back yard for my dogs to run in.  To have a garage for storage.  And a place to really start a family. 

The only problem is…I want to make sure it’s what we want to do.  I’m not one to really live my life on ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’; however, big decisions like purchasing a home makes me a little anxious.  All the doubts creep up…like taxes…or repairs…or what if this goes wrong…or if one of us loses our job.  I know I need to stop, but I just can’t help it.  I’m just praying that if this is the time for Adam and I to purchase a home…and not just any home — our home, I want to make sure it’s what we want.  It just feels so permanent, which I guess is good, but I now realize how much I enjoy my freedom. 

Let’s just say…this is new territory for me.  Here’s hoping all will work out smoothly if it’s meant to be.

<3 Lindsey